How to Prepare for Your Child's IEP Meeting

Before the meeting

Start with your own list. Write down your main concerns, what you want your child to work on this year, and anything that has changed at home. If there are recent evaluations or reports, ask the school to share theirs ahead of time so you are not reading them for the first time at the table. Review your child's current IEP and progress reports, and note where you see progress and where you don't.

What to bring

• Your child's diagnosis and any evaluations, including private ones you are comfortable sharing
• The current IEP and recent progress reports
• Your written list of concerns and questions
• Notes or examples from home: what works, what is hard, what a typical day looks like
• A notebook or a way to take notes during the meeting
• Someone for support, if you want. You can bring a partner, a family member, or an advocate.

What to ask

• How will each goal be measured, and how will I hear about progress?
• Who will provide each service, how often, and in what setting?
• What happens at school when my child is struggling or behavior escalates?
• If my child is not making progress on a goal, what do we change, and when?
• How can the school and our home team share information, with my permission?

You are not being difficult by asking these. Clear answers now prevent confusion later.

How to document

Take notes, or ask if you can record the meeting. Afterward, send a short email to the team summarizing what you understood was agreed. That email becomes a record. Keep copies of everything (evaluations, IEPs, report cards, emails) in one folder. If the school decides something you did not expect, you can ask for it in writing. Schools document their decisions in a written notice, and you are entitled to understand the reasoning.

If you disagree with the plan

You do not have to resolve everything in the room. You can ask for time to review the document before signing. Put your concerns in writing, in your own words, and keep a copy. You can ask for another meeting to discuss the points where you disagree.

If you and the district still cannot agree, there are formal options, including mediation and due process through the state. Those steps have their own rules and timelines, so many families talk with a special education advocate or an attorney before going that route. What matters most: disagreement is part of the process, and raising it does not hurt your child.

Where private ABA fits

Your child's IEP covers school. Private ABA covers home and community life. The two are separate, and one does not replace the other. If your child has a BCBA outside of school, sharing each plan with the other team, with your permission, helps everyone work toward the same goals.

If you want a clinician's help preparing, we offer IEP development and school program review as private-pay services for families who want support with the plan itself. And for the bigger picture of how school services and private ABA differ, see our guide to IEP vs. private ABA.